Happy Columbus Day

In honor of Columbus Day, I thought I would take a moment to talk about the fabulous Italian who "discovered" the Americas.

So without further delay, Reboot proudly presents, "The History of Columbus According to Me".

There has been much speculation about Mr. Columbus's life. Some say that the man who discovered the Americas wasn't even Italian at all. One theory believes that he was the bastard son of a Portuguese prince. As an adult, he participated in a revolt against the King and Queen of Spain. The revolt failed and years later "Mr. Columbus" found himself needing to ask the King for a favor. Thinking it would be awkward to ask a favor from a man he tried to over throw, Mr. Columbus gave himself an alias, claiming to be an Italian sailor from Geno named Christopher Columbus. Now there is no doubt that there was a man born in Genoa with the name of the Christopher Columbus, but some speculate that THAT Christopher Columbus was NOT the guy who first discovered the Americas. There are several reasons that some scholars believe Chris was a Spanish noble rather than an Italian sailor. The Christopher Columbus from Genoa was the as a son of a weaver and he would not have had the opportunity to receive the education necessary for the achievements of the "historical Chris Columbus". Letters written by Chris clearly indicate that the writer was well educated. The other reason is simple, all of the letters written were written in Spanish. As an expat myself, I can honestly say that it would be a bit strange if Columbus were Italian that he would always write in Spanish. My letters to home are always written in my native language.

So the debate continues with a scientist from Spain trying to prove that Columbus was actually from Spain and an Italian scientist who is sticking with the story that Chris was Italian. But I'm not here to rain on any one's Columbus Day parade so I will give you the story as learned in the schools of America.

This is my story and I'm sticking to it.
Christopher Columbus was born in Genoa, Italy in 1451. Little is known about his early days so we will fast forward a bit. Somehow he got mixed up in the shipping business and soon Chris found himself traveling the world on boats and making a living out of shipping and trading.

At some point he decided that he could find a better route to the Orient and asked the King of Portugal for some help. He requested three ships with enough equipment to sail around the world for a year. Then he got greedy. Chris also asked for one tenth of the revenue generated by any lands he discovered and also wanted to be named "Great Admiral of the Ocean". Unsurprisingly, he was turned down.

Not one to give up, Columbus solicited the King of England and also the King and Queen of Spain. The King of Spain didn't like the plan either, but gave Chris a lot monetary benefits to keep him loyal to Spain. The King didn't like the initial idea, but had seen some potential in Columbus and didn't want him to be wooed by any other Kings.

Chris still has this crazy idea of finding a route to the Orient and wouldn't give up on his dream. Several times he requested a cruise around the Atlantic, but was always turned down.
Chris, "Can I go an my expedition?"

King Ferdinand II, "No".

Chris, "Now can I go?".

King Ferdinand II, "No".

Chris, "What about now?".

King Ferdinand, "I said NO".

Chris, "How about now?".

King Ferdinand, "NO, NO, NO!!!!".

Chris, "Please, please, please! I promise to be good,".

Chris kept asking until, like every bad parent, the King gave up and gave in.

King Ferdinand II, "Fine go! Just fricking leave me alone,".

Chris, "Grazie!". Unless you believe he was Spanish in which case he would have said "Gracias,".

In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. Although some of the voyage was funded by the Spanish royals, part of it was also funded by Italian investors who Columbus had lined up. The King also agreed to give Columbus a percentage of the revenue made in any land discovered as well as being made "Admiral of the Sea". Of course the King agreed to all of this because no one expected Columbus to return (aka survive).

After two long months at sea, land was spotted on October 12. Columbus named the island San Salvatore, a little place we all know as the Bahamas. Chris also went on to explore Cuba and Hispaniola, before returning to Spain with his new spices, exciting stories and the good news that a new world had been discovered. I'll leave out the part where he tells everyone that the land he discovered was near China.

"Mama mia, eets a new vorld! Thes way boyz. I can'ta believe we a made et to China!"

I always have to laugh when I hear about Columbus discovering the Americas. How does one "discover" a land that was already "discovered" by the Vikings and was also inhabited the natives, who were very restless. I do have give Chris credit where credit is due. In all fairness to him, he did discover land that the Europeans didn't know existed at the time. Columbus's discovery was the start of the great "let's go explore the Americas" campaign and from that point on, the Americas were never the same.

He traveled the world even in death
Columbus died of a heart attack at the age of 55. His remains were buried in Valladolid and then later moved to Seville at the request of his son. In 1542 Columbus's remains were then taken to Hispaniola were they stayed until the French took over. Columbus was then moved to Havana, Cuba, but when Cuba won its independence Columbus was on the move again. This time settling back in Seville where his remains remain today. Or do they? Like the beginning of his life, there is much debate as to where Columbus's final resting place is. The church in Hispaniola (Columbus's second final resting place) claim they still have Chris, though DNA tests confirm that the bones in Seville (or at least SOME of the bones) are those of Columbus.

The last, final resting place of Christopher Columbus (at least for now)

A Side Note
In Italy and Spain, Columbus is observed on October 12Th: the day Columbus landed in the Bahamas. In the United States, Columbus Day is observed on the second Monday of October thus creating a long weekend for the Americans.

So to the Americans, Happy Columbus Day! And to the Spanish and Italians, come back and read this post again in four days.