The Revenge of Carlos

The day before Thanksgiving I decided that I needed to take a few pictures of the precooked Carlos. I opened the refrigerator door, grabbed the over sized bird and pulled the muscle in my lower back. Don't laugh, it isn't funny (well maybe it is just a little funny).

As the day went on, the muscle became stiffer and stiffer. At one point it brought tears to my eyes. I wondered how on earth I was going to cook a dinner for twelve people when I couldn't even bend over to tie my shoes?

Carlos: 1

Cyndi: 0

Yesterday I woke up and could hardly move. I swear that I heard the sound of muffled turkey giggles coming from the fridge. The Italian removed Carlos from the refrigerator before heading off to school. There was no way that I was going to be able to lift that monster from the bottom shelf with my lower back out of order.

I studied Carlos for a while. Trying to figure out how I was going to cook him. Was there a way I could shove his entire body into our small oven? The answer became obviously clear...NO WAY!

I tried to cut Carlos in half, but was unable to cut him down the middle. Angry at my failure, I began to chop him at the waist. It didn't work. The bone were too thick. In a fit of rage, I began chopping away at Carlos's legs and arms. The sick sound of popping bones made my skin crawl. The sight of ripping flesh and tearing muscles made my stomach turn.

In the end, Carlos laid in a pan unable to take a swing at me, unable to run away.
I put his legs and wings back in the fridge. I would deal with them another day.

Carlos: 1

Cyndi: 1

With the help of my new best friends Muscle and Relaxer, I hoped that I would make it through Thanksgiving Day......